good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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