What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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