Swine flu. Run for my life!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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