I CAN MOONWALK!
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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