some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
