So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
