...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
