Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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