I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
