yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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