spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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