even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
