Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
