That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
