i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
