i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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