Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you traded sex for a burrito?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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