ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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