its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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