Your dad touched me again.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
