You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
