i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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