i think i have two assholes
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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