Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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