Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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