i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
