Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
