Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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