Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
