It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I want to be your penis for a week.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize