Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
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They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
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After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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