Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
