Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
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