Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize