You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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