I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I am in a vortex of obligation.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
