when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"