RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...