i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos