I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?