I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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