she told me i tasted like america
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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