how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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