ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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