The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
