So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
