our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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