just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
