ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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