Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Panties = found
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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