Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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