she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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