Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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