I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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