Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
