I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
