Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
