so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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