Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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