Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
