Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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