we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
