ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Someone shattered a urinal.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
