apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
