So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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