it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
