It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
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She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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