Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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