Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
