It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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