Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The uberlube is also flammable
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
