I am midnight drunk by noon
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
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My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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